Strengths:

1. The essay has a clear structure; it consists of an introduction, three body paragraphs and a conclusion.

2. The writer has established coherence and cohesion between the essay paragraphs by maintaining a clear focus on the main problem of noise pollution and using relevant signposting devices (e.g., First of all, Another way, Third way, To conclude) at the beginning of each paragraph.

3. Each of the main body paragraphs of the essay has a concise topic sentence, in which one of the potential solutions to the problem of noise pollution is clearly stated.

4. The writer has mitigated their claims by using appropriate hedging language where necessary (e.g., may create, might defend).

Weaknesses:

1. The essay has a clear structure; it consists of an introduction, three body paragraphs and a conclusion.

2. The writer has established coherence and cohesion between the essay paragraphs by maintaining a clear focus on the main problem of noise pollution and using relevant signposting devices (e.g., First of all, Another way, Third way, To conclude) at the beginning of each paragraph.

3. Each of the main body paragraphs of the essay has a concise topic sentence, in which one of the potential solutions to the problem of noise pollution is clearly stated.

4. The writer has mitigated their claims by using appropriate hedging language where necessary (e.g., may create, might defend).

Problem Solution Essay Two:

Noise Pollution

Nowadays, humanity growth created a phenomenon of urbanization. Cities become larger and number of citizens raise, transportation systems develop and become more complex. All those factors created a problem which has significant impact to life of modern human – noise pollution. Noise pollution can have destruction influence to emotional stability and quality of sleep. Noise is a stressor which disturbs people’s relaxation and creates discomfort what may create physical and physiological disorders (Bronzaft, 1993). However, problems provided with noise can be solved by architectures and engineers work, planting natural noise blockers and controlling noise sources by government.

First of all, there is a considerable effect of environment to noise creation. Building’s location forms its ambient noise level. Obviously, all buildings cannot be constructed far away from the sources of noise. If influence to the location of future building is impossible, it should be protected from the noise internally. Architects and engineers plan thickness of walls and structure of ventilation system which might defend from the noise in case of its effective design (Bronzaft, 1993). Usage of sound blocking materials will lower the noise level. However, those materials raise construction price. In order to maximally lower noise level architectures and engineers should cooperate with builder with an aim of protecting building from noise.

Another way to decline noise level is to plant trees. Trees are natural noise blockers which absorb noise and lower ambient noise level. It should be mentioned, there are seasons when deciduous trees lose their leaves. This problem can be solved by planting both deciduous and evergreen trees which keep noise level reduction whole year (Harnapp and Noble1987). Also, not all trees are equally protective. For example, trees with high leaves density are most effective noise absorbers, whereas decorative trees of small size have no significant effect to noise level reduction (Harnapp and Noble1987). Therefore, only large trees should be planted.

Third way to solve noise pollution problem is control from the governmental side. Law regulates everything and law accepted by government. Acceptation of anti-noise laws will have significant influence to noise level. For instance, making laws which regulate allowed noise level produced by car engines will reduce noise level in future. Also, tree planting might be provided by government which lowers noise spreading, as it was mentioned before. However, there are various spheres where governmental regulation is needed and not all of them can be handled quickly.

To conclude, there might be not easy to use those methods in practice. Trees cannot be planted in every region on the planet and sometimes there is no enough space for them. Also, architectures and engineers cannot change something if builders do not allow doing it. However, if government will use those methods and support them by accepting regulations, it will reduce noise pollution effectively. This cooperation will provide way to the world without noise.

References

Bronzaft, A. (1993). ARCHITECTS, ENGINEERS AND PLANNERS AS ANTI-NOISE ADVOCATES. Journal of Architectural and Planning Research, 10(2), 146–159. Available from http://www.jstor.org/stable/43028738 [Accessed 23 October 2016].
Harnapp, V. and Noble, A. (1987). Noise pollution. GeoJournal, 14 (2), 217–226. Available from http://www.jstor.org/stable/41143800 [Accessed 23 October 2016].

Problem Solution Essay Two:

Noise Pollution

Legend:
Idea Development Academic Style Grammatical Accuracy Lexical Appropriacy Source Use Macrostructure Spelling Accuracy Punctuation Accuracy

NowadaysIssue No. 1: The use of the informal and vague expression Nowadays should be avoided in academic writing. , Issue No. 2: The expression Increasingly should be used at the beginning of the sentence to emphasis the scope of the problem.
Issue No. 3: The expression Increasingly should be used at the beginning of the sentence to emphasis the scope of the problem. humanity growth createdIssue No. 4: The present perfect tense of the verb needs to be used in this sentence.
Click here for Tense issue aIssue No. 5: The definite article the needs to be used before the phrase phenomenon of urbanization in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue phenomenon of urbanization. Cities becomeIssue No. 6: The present perfect tense of the verb needs to be used in this sentence.
Click here for Tense issue larger andIssue No. 7: The conjunction and should not be used here because there are more items given further in a list. numIssue No. 8: A comma is needed before the second item in a list.
Click here for Comma issueberIssue No. 9: The definite article the needs to be used before the phrase number of citizens in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue of citizens raiseIssue No. 10: The present perfect tense of the verb needs to be used in this sentence.
Click here for Tense issue, transportationIssue No. 11: The conjunction and is needed before the last item in a list. systems developIssue No. 12: The present perfect tense of the verb needs to be used in this sentence.
Click here for Tense issue and become more complex. All thoseIssue No. 13: The present form of the demonstrative adjective these needs to be used in this sentence because the writer refers to the factors they have just listed.
Click here for Tense issue factors createdIssue No. 14: The present perfect tense of the verb needs to be used in this sentence.
Click here for Tense issue a problem which has significant impactIssue No. 15: The indefinite article a needs to be used before the noun phrase significant impact.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue toIssue No. 16: The preposition on needs to be used after the noun impact in this sentence. lifeIssue No. 17: The definite article the needs to be used after the noun life in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue of modern human –Issue No. 18: The comma needs to be used instead of the dash when specifying the problem.
Click here for Comma issue noise pollutionIssue No. 19: The expression namely needs to be used before introducing the problem of noise pollution.
Issue No. 20: The cohesive expression namely needs to be followed by the comma.
Click here for Comma issue. Noise pollution can have destructionIssue No. 21: The adjective destructive needs to be used instead of the noun destruction when used as a determiner before the noun influence in this sentence. influence toIssue No. 22: The preposition on needs to be used after the noun influence in this sentence. emotional stability and quality of sleep. Noise is a stressor which disturbs people’s relaxation and creates discomfort whatIssue No. 23: The pronoun which needs to be used instead of the pronoun what in this sentence. may create physical and physiological disorders (Bronzaft, 1993). However, problemsIssue No. 24: The definite article the needs to be used before the phrase problems in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue providedIssue No. 25: A more appropriate word generated needs to be used in this sentence. withIssue No. 26: The preposition by needs to be used in a passive construction generated by noise. noise can be solved by architecturesIssue No. 27: The singular form of the noun architecture should be used here. and engineers workIssue No. 28: A more appropriate phrase engineering should be used instead of engineers work in this sentence., planting natural noise blockers and controlling noise sources by government.Issue No. 29: The plural form of the noun governments should be used because governments in general rather than a specific government is meant in this sentence.

FirstlyIssue No. 30: A more concise and appropriate signposting expression Firstly should be used in this sentence., there is a considerable effect of environmentIssue No. 31: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun environment in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue toIssue No. 32: The preposition on needs to be used after the noun effect in this sentence. noise creation. Building’sIssue No. 33: The indefinite article a needs to be used before the singular noun building in this sentence.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue
Issue No. 34: The lower case letter b needs to be used in the word building’s because it is no longer the first word in the sentence. location formsIssue No. 35: A more appropriate verb dictates should be used instead of the verb forms in this sentence. its ambient noise level. Obviously,Issue No. 36: The use of the overly strong adverb Obviously should be avoided in academic writing.
Click here for Hedging issue all buildings cannot be constructed far away from the sources of noise. If influence toIssue No. 37: The preposition on needs to be used after the noun influence in this sentence. the location of future buildingIssue No. 38: The indefinite article a needs to be used before the singular noun phrase future building in this sentence.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue is impossible, it should be protected from the noise internally. Architects and engineers plan thicknessIssue No. 39: The definite article the is needed before the phrase thickness of walls in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue of walls and structure of ventilation systemIssue No. 40: The definite article the is needed before the phrase ventilation system in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue
Issue No. 41: It needs to be made clear what specifically the ventilation system would defend. which might defend from the noise in case of its effective designIssue No. 42: The phrase in case of its effective design is unnecessarily wordy.
Click here for Wordiness issue (Bronzaft, 1993). UsageIssue No. 43: The definite article the is needed before the phrase usage of sound in this sentence.
Issue No. 44: The lower case letter u needs to be used in the word usage because it is no longer the first word in the sentence. of sound blocking materials will lower the noise level. However, those materials raise construction priceIssue No. 45: The definite article the is needed before the phrase construction price in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue. In order to maximally lower noise level architecturesIssue No. 46: The noun architects needs to be used instead of architectures because it is the former that refers to a profession. and engineers should cooperate with builderIssue No. 47: The plural form of the noun builders is needed for the purpose of consistency in this sentence. with an aim of protecting buildingIssue No. 48: The indefinite article a needs to be used before the singular noun building in this sentence. from noise.

Another way to declineIssue No. 49: A more appropriate verb reduce needs to be used instead of the verb decline in this sentence. noise levelIssue No. 50: The plural form of the noun levels is needed in this sentence. is to plant trees.Issue No. 51: The claim needs to be backed up with some research-based evidence and presented in the form of an in-text citation.
Click here for Evidence issue Trees are natural noise blockers which absorb noise and lower ambient noise level. It should be mentioned,Issue No. 52: The expression It should be mentioned is unnecessarily wordy and should be avoided in this sentence.
Click here for Wordiness issue thereIssue No. 53: The upper case letter T needs to be used in the word There because this word has become the first word in the sentence. are seasons when deciduous trees lose their leaves. This problem can be solved by planting both deciduous and evergreen trees which keep noise level reduction whole yearIssue No. 54: A more concise phrase noise reduced year-round should be used in this sentence.
Click here for Wordiness issue (Harnapp andIssue No. 55: In the APA referencing system, which is used in this essay, in the citation of a work by two authors, ampersand (&) needs to be used between the authors’ names in the parentheses.
Click here for In-text Citations issue Noble1987Issue No. 56: A comma is needed between the authors’ names and the year of publication in the parentheses.
Click here for In-text Citations issue). AlsoIssue No. 57: A more appropriate signposting expression Additionally needs to be used instead of Also at the beginning of the sentence. , not all trees are equally protective. For example, trees with high leavesIssue No. 58: The singular form of the word leaf is needed because it is used a determiner of the noun density in this sentence. density are mostIssue No. 59: A comparative form more rather than a superlative most needs to be used in this sentence. effective noise absorbers, whereas decorative trees of small size have no significant effect toIssue No. 60: The preposition on needs to be used after the noun effect in this sentence. noise level reduction (Harnapp andIssue No. 61: In the APA referencing system, which is used in this essay, in the citation of a work by two authors, ampersand (&) needs to be used between the authors’ names in the parentheses.
Click here for In-text Citations issue Noble1987Issue No. 62: A comma is needed between the authors’ names and the year of publication in the parentheses.
Click here for In-text Citations issue). Therefore, only large trees should be planted.

Third wayIssue No. 63: The indefinite article a needs to be used before the singular noun phrase third way in this sentence.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue Issue No. 64: The lower case letter t needs to be used in the word third because this word is no longer the first word in the sentence. to solveIssue No. 65: A more appropriate verb reduce needs to be used instead of the verb solve in this sentence. noise pollution problemIssue No. 66: The word problem is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue isIssue No. 67: The preposition by needs to be used in this sentence. control from the governmental sideIssue No. 68: A more concise phrase governmental control should be used in this sentence.
Click here for Wordiness issue. Law regulates everything and law accepted by government.Issue No. 69: It is not entirely clear what the writer intended to say in this sentence. AcceptationIssue No. 70: The word creation needs to be used instead on a non-existent word acceptation in this sentence. of anti-noiseIssue No. 71: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun creation in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue laws willIssue No. 72: The claim needs to be mitigated by using a hedging expression may instead of will.
Click here for Hedging issue have significant influenceIssue No. 73: The indefinite article a needs to be used before a singular noun phrase significant influence.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue toIssue No. 74: The preposition on needs to be used after the noun influence in this sentence. noise level.Issue No. 75: The claim needs to be made more precise and clear by adding the phrase reducing before noise level.
Issue No. 76: The claim needs to be made more precise and clear by adding the phrase the overall before noise level. For instance, making laws which regulate allowed noise level produced by car engines will reduce noise level in future. Also, tree planting might be provided by governmentIssue No. 77: The plural form of the noun governments should be used because governments in general rather than a specific government is meant in this sentence. which lowers noise spreading,Issue No. 78: The word spreading is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue as it was mentioned before. However, there are various spheres whereIssue No. 79: The sentence structure needs to be revised by replacing the pronoun where with in which. governmental regulation is needed and not all of them can be handled quickly.

To conclude, there might be not easy to use those methodsIssue No. 80: The claim needs to be made more precise and clear by adding the phrase the methods to reduce noise mentioned above. in practice. Trees cannot be planted in every region on the planet and sometimes there is no enough space for them. Also, architecturesIssue No. 81: The noun architects needs to be used instead of architectures because it is the former that refers to a profession. and engineers cannot change something if builders do not allow doingIssue No. 82: The word doing is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue it. However, if governmentIssue No. 83: The plural form of the noun governments should be used because governments in general rather than a specific government is meant in this sentence. will useIssue No. 84: The present simple rather that future simple needs to be used in the if-clause of a conditional sentence.
Click here for Tense issue those methods and support them by accepting regulations, it reduceIssue No. 85: The claim needs to be mitigated by using a hedging expression may before reduce in this sentence.
Click here for Hedging issue noise pollution effectively. This cooperation will provide way to the world without noise.Issue No. 86: The claim needs to be made more precise by using the adjective excessive before noise.

ReferencesIssue No. 87: A number of issues with the use of sources have been identified in this essay: 1. The writer should have used more sources to back up the claims made in the essay, and the sources should have been more current. Only two sources were used by the writer of this essay and both are outdated, i.e., published more than ten years ago (in 1993 and in 1987). 2. The writer should have been consistent with the use of sources. Firstly, the title of the first article should not appear in ALL CAPITAL letters. Secondly, the number signifying the journal volume needs to be italicized in both sources. 3. According to the APA referencing system, which is followed in this essay, the ampersand (&) rather than the conjunction and needs to be used between the authors’ names. The conjunction and has been used by the writer in Harnapp, V. and Noble, A. instead of the ampersand. 4. A hanging indentation should be used in the References, i.e., every line after the first line should be moved a few spaces to the right.

Bronzaft, A. (1993). ARCHITECTS, ENGINEERS AND PLANNERS AS ANTI-NOISE ADVOCATES. Journal of Architectural and Planning Research, 10(2), 146–159. Available from http://www.jstor.org/stable/43028738 [Accessed 23 October 2016].
Harnapp, V. and Noble, A. (1987). Noise pollution. GeoJournal, 14 (2), 217–226. Available from http://www.jstor.org/stable/41143800 [Accessed 23 October 2016].

Activities:

Question 1:
Identify the thesis statement of this esssay, i.e., the sentence that states the main idea of the whole essay.

A: Noise pollution can have destructive influence on emotional stability and quality of sleep.Incorrect: This statement is not the thesis statement of the essay. The main purpose of this statement is to highlight the scope of the noise pollution problem by focusing on some of its negative effects.

B: Firstly, there is a considerable effect of the environment on noise creation. Incorrect: This statement is not the thesis statement but the topic sentence. Its main purpose is to express the main idea of the second paragraph in the essay.

C: However, the problems generated by noise can be solved by architecture and engineering, planting natural noise blockers and controlling noise sources by governments.Correct: This is the thesis statement, which clearly outlines the three main points of the essay: 1. architecture and engineering; 2.planting natural noise blockers; and 3. controlling noise sources by governments.

Question 2:
Identify an example of hedging language, i.e., cautious/tentative language to show hesitation or uncertainly, used by the writer in the 1st paragraph of the essay?

A: HoweverIncorrect: This is a not an example of hedging language, but an example of cohesive expression used by the writer to show contrast to the previous point made in the essay.

B: May CreateCorrect: This is an example of hedging language. The use of modal verbs ( e.g., may/ might or could) are common ways of mitigating the claims in the essay.

C: NowadaysIncorrect: This is a not an example of hedging language. The writer has used this expression at the very beginning of the essay, however, they should not have used it at all because it is vague, and vague language should be avoided in academic writing.

Question 3:
Which of the essay paragraphs particularly requires some use of research-based evidence?

A: Paragraph 3Incorrect: This paragraph contains some research-based evidence from the source by Harnapp and Noble (1987). The writer could, however, have used some examples and statistics from more current sources to back up the claims made in this paragraph.

B: Paragraph 4Correct: No research-based evidence has been used by the writer in this paragraph. Some evidence in the form of examples and statistics from some current sources should have been included.

C: Paragraph 5Incorrect: No research-based evidence has been used in this paragraph. However, since this paragraph is a concluding paragraph of the essay, it does not require the use of any in-text citations. The main purpose of the conclusion is to restate the main problem and summarise the main points, i.e., potential solutions to the problem, developed in the essay.

Question 4:
What type of references has the writer used in this essay?

A: Book ChaptersIncorrect: The sources used in this essay are not book chapters, but journal articles. In both cases, the name of the journal is given in italics, and the vollume and issue number are stated clearly.

B: WebsitesIncorrect: The sources are not the websites, but the journal articles. In both cases, the name of the journal is given in italics, and the volume and issue number are stated clearly.

C: Journal articlesCorrect: Both sources cited in the essay are the articles from academic journals. In both cases, the name of the journal is given in italics, and the vollume and issue number are stated clearly.