Essay 10 | English Teaching Aids in Uzbekistan

Strengths:

1. The essay has a clear structure- it consists of an introduction, three main body paragraphs and a conclusion.
2. The thesis statement gives a clear account of the three ways to solve the problem of suicide that are logically developed in each paragraph.
3. Research-based evidence from three different sources is well-integrated throughout the essay, i.e., the writer has used statistics and examples from a number of studies to back up the claims made in the essay.
4. Cohesion is well-established between paragraphs via the skillful use of signposting phrases, e.g., One of the feasible ways to deal with…, Secondly and even more importantly, etc.)

Weaknesses:

1. In some parts of the essay, e.g., paragraph 2 and paragraph 4, the writer should have been more precise and should have expanded on certain claims they have introduced by using some examples and evidence from literature.
2. In some parts of the essay, e.g., paragraph 3 and paragraph 4, the writer should have avoided redundancy, i.e., using unnnecessary information.
3. The writer should be more accurate in their use of grammatical articles throughout the essay.

Plain Text Essay
Annotated Essay

Problem Solution Essay Ten:

Feasible Solutions for Global Warming

The global average temperature increased by 0.850 C over a-century-period from 1880 to 2012 and is predicted to increase further between 2.60 C and 4.80 C by the end of the 21st century (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, 2014). Global warming, which is defined as the process of temperature increase on the earth’s surface, due largely to increased amount of greenhouse gas emissions released to the atmosphere, is gradually becoming one of the most serious issues that requires urgent attention of the whole world. The causes of this issue are mainly the result of people’s indifference to the environment which they are inextricably linked with. Increase in deforestation rate, emissions from transportation and release of excessive amount of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere by the usage of fossil fuels are considered to be the main examples of this indifference. With regard to the effects, global warming can lead to some inevitable conditions such as the melting of polar ice caps, longer and more devastating wildfires and severe droughts if enough attention is not paid to. Despite being one of the most serious problems of current world, it could be dealt with effectively if such solutions as decreasing the level of deforestation, greening transportation and switching to renewable energy sources are implemented.

One of the feasible ways to deal with global warming is lessening the rate of deforestation. This is due to the fact that deforestation currently constitutes about 18% of global greenhouse gas emissions, which is a major contributor to global warming (Harris and Feriz, 2011). Hence, the level at which trees are cut should be decreased, which could primarily be achieved by planting trees. To corroborate, new trees should be planted and new forests should be created for areas which were cleared out by deforestation, since they store some amount of CO2 in themselves and thereby prevent it from being released to the atmosphere. As a matter of fact, trees, planted for the area of 1 hectare, can store up to 900 tons of CO2, which is equal to the amount that is released by 147 cars daily (Harris and Feriz, 2011) and as Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (2000) concluded, up to 2 gigatones of CO2 can be sequestered annually by tree-planting. Moreover, recycling process can also be a way to reduce deforestation level. Since trees are used for raw-materials such as timber, lumber and particularly paper, focusing on recycling them as well as using recycled ones can reduce the huge dependence for trees, which in turn leads to less cuts and less deforestation. To clarify, as University of Colorado found out, each ton of recycled paper can save 17 trees from being cut or “one ton of recycled paper saves 3700 pounds of lumber”. In addition, recycling of approximately 80 million tons of materials in a year can prevent about 50 million metrics of carbon, which is equal to the amount emitted by nearly 40 million cars yearly, from being released to the atmosphere (University of Colorado, 2016). However, decreasing the level of deforestation might create some problems when it comes to people and to persuading them to plant trees and recycle. Nevertheless, it appears plausible for the government to take some actions and establish some laws and regulations for people to plant trees and recycle. Overall, despite some limitations, reducing the level of deforestation will probably have a positive impact on global warming.

Secondly and even more importantly though, implementation of greening transportation can be another way in dealing with global warming. It is an action which focuses on the development of eco-friendly and sustainable means of transportation and thereby decline in the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from transportation. Since “transportation accounts for 15 per cent of the total greenhouse gas emissions globally”, there is an urgent need to implement this action quickly (Palsson and Johannson, 2016, p674). One of the most crucial steps to start the action is raising the awareness of the public about the competitive advantages of sustainable means of transportation such as bicycles and public transport as well as promoting those vehicles among people so that they can use them more often. For instance, as European Cyclists’ Federation (2011) estimated, bicycle (21g CO2 per km) and public transport (101g CO2 per km) releases 10 times and twice as less amount of CO2 as private cars (271g CO2 per km) respectively and they together can save up to 100 million tons of CO2 together if they are used instead of cars. If people are informed and educated about the positive effects of using eco-friendly transportation upon the environment and global warming by those kinds of facts, statistics and the usage of them are promoted by special advertisements or techniques, people may eventually prefer bicycles and public transport over private cars. Furthermore, increasing the production of fuel-efficient and electric cars can also assist in implementing greening transportation. Cars which are powered by biofuels or electricity are far more eco-friendly than ordinary, petrol-powered cars, in that they release considerably less amount of CO2 (Velazquez et al., 2015). In fact, fuel-efficient and electric cars release 20% and 40% less amount of CO2 correspondingly when compared to cars that run on petrol (Union of Concerned Scientists, 2012). However, it might be true that currently there is no enough opportunity for promotion of sustainable transportation and funding for production of environmentally-friendly cars. Due to this, many people still are not aware why bicycles, public transport and fuel-efficient cars should be preferred by them. Nonetheless, it might be recommended for government to initiate some actions such as providing bicycles and public transport with specific bike and bus lines to enhance the promotion of them as well as increase the level of funding in producing fuel-efficient and electric cars. In essence, if there is some action by government and greening transportation is implemented, the negative impacts of transportation on global warming will probably decline.

The third and the foremost solution for global warming is increasing the usage of renewable energy sources and decreasing the usage of fossil fuels. This is because of the fact that by far the largest – 26% of all greenhouse gas emissions is the share of fossil fuels (Harris and Feriz, 2011). Therefore, the use of renewable energy sources should be accelerated, primarily by involving them more when generating electricity. Although solar and wind energy releases far less amount of CO2 to the atmosphere while generating electricity compared to coal and natural gas, their share still accounts for only 22% of all generated electricity (International Energy Agency, 2015). Increase in this share can assist to significantly decrease the amount of CO2 emissions in the process of generating electricity. This is because in order to generate 1 kilowatt-hour electricity, coal and natural gas emits up to 3.6 and 2 pounds of carbon dioxide respectively, whereas corresponding figures for solar and wind energy are negligible 0.07 and 0.02 (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, 2011). Moreover, applying solar panels and wind turbines for household usage can also boost the use of alternative energy sources. Most household equipments work with electricity that can be generated by solar panels or wind turbines even at home. By installing them according to their needs, more and more families will be able to satisfy their needs to electricity nearly fully. This, in turn, helps to increase the use of alternative energy sources by making opportunities for families to decrease their dependence on non-renewable energy sources. Once there is a gradual increase in the usage of renewable energy sources, it will probably have some positive outcomes related to global warming. Realizing the advantages of alternative energy sources over fossil fuels, increasing number of people, families and countries start relying on them in the process of electricity generation. In fact, the share of renewable energy sources in generating electricity is expected to increase approximately to 30% by 2020 (International Energy Agency, 2015). Most importantly, considerably less amount of CO2 will be released, when there is an increase in the utilization of sustainable energy sources. If the distribution of alternative energy sources in energy supply goes up to around 45% by 2050, the amount of CO2 emissions will be 60% less than that of today (Sims, 2003). On the whole, switching to alternative energy sources by decreasing the usage of fossil fuels will probably impact on global warming positively and have inevitably positive consequences.

Having considered all the things, admittedly, it will not be easy to combat global warming since it is considered to be one of the most serious issues of the 21st century. There will also be some difficulties when implementing the solutions as they have their limitations. Nevertheless, if solutions: reducing the level of deforestation, implementing greening transportation and accelerating the usage of renewable energy sources, are all put in action together with the help from government; individuals understand that it is happening, become aware of its causes and change their attitudes towards the environment, it will be plausible to think about overcoming the problem of global warming and avoiding its devastating consequences. Finally, so as not to be late, it is vital that possible solutions be put into action as soon as possible.

Reference List

Blondel, B., Mispelon, Ch. and Ferguson, J. (2011). Cycle more often to cool down the planet! Quantifying CO2 savings of cycling. Brussels: European Cyclists’ Federation ASBL. Available from https://ecf.com/files/wp-content/uploads/ECF_CO2_WEB.pdf [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Harris, J. M. and Feriz, M. B. (2011). Forests, Agriculture, and Climate: Economics and Policy Issues. Tufts University: Medford, MA 02155. Available from http://www.ase.tufts.edu/gdae/education_materials/modules/REDD.pdf [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. (2000). Land Use, Land-Use Change, and Forestry. Summary for Policymakers. UK: Cambridge University Press. Available from https://www.ipcc.ch/pdf/special-reports/spm/srl-en.pdf [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. (2011). Renewable Energy Sources and Climate Change Mitigation. Summary for Policymakers and Technical Summary. UK: Cambridge University Press. Available from https://www.ipcc.ch/pdf/special-reports/srren/SRREN_FD_SPM_final.pdf [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. (2014). Climate Change 2014. Synthesis Report. Geneva. Available from https://www.ipcc.ch/pdf/assessment-report/ar5/syr/SYR_AR5_FINAL_full_wcover.pdf [Accessed 10 December 2016].

International Energy Agency. (2015). Renewable Energy. Medium-Term Market Report 2015. Market Analysis and Forecasts to 2020. France: Paris Cedex. Available from https://www.iea.org/publications/freepublications/publication/MTRMR2015.pdf [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Pallson, H. and Johannson, O. (2016). Reducing Transportation Emissions. Benchmarking: An International Journal, 23 (3), 674-703. Available from http://dx.doi.org/10.1108/BIJ-03-2014-0025 [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Sims, R., Rogner, H. and Gregory K. (2003). Carbon emission and mitigation cost comparisons between fossil fuel, nuclear and renewable energy resources for electricity generation. Energy Policy, 31, 1315-1326. Available from https://www.iaea.org/OurWork/ST/NE/Pess/assets/Energy%20Policy%202003.pdf [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Union of Concerned Scientists (2012). State of Charge. Electric Vehicles’ Global Warming Emissions and Fuel-cost Savings across the United States. Cambridge: MA 02138-3780. Available from http://www.ucsusa.org/sites/default/files/legacy/assets/documents/clean_vehicles/electric-car-global-warming-emissions-report.pdf [Accessed 10 December 2016].

University of Colorado (2016). Recycling Facts, Environmental Center and University of Colorado Boulder. http://www.colorado.edu/ecenter/recycling/resources/curricular-resources/recycling-facts [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Velazquez, L. et al. (2015). Sustainable Transportation Strategies for Decoupling Road Vehicle Transport and Carbon Dioxide Emissions. Management of Environmental Quality: An International Journal, 26 (3), 373-388. Available from http://dx.doi.org/10.1108/MEQ-07-2014-0120 [Accessed 10 December 2016].

Problem Solution Essay Ten:

Feasible Solutions for Global Warming

Legend:

Idea Development Academic Style Grammatical Accuracy Lexical Appropriacy Source Use Macrostructure Spelling Accuracy Punctuation Accuracy

The global average temperature increased by 0.850 C over aIssue No. 1: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun period in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue–centuryIssue No. 2: The noun century should not be used in this sentence because the period described by the writer is not a century.-period from 1880 to 2012 and is predicted to increase further between 2.60 C and 4.80 C by the end of the 21st century (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, 2014). Global warming, which is defined as the process of temperature increase on the earth’s surface, due largely to increased amount of greenhouse gas emissions released to the atmosphere, is gradually becoming one of the most serious issues that requires urgent attentionIssue No. 3: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun phrase urgent attention.
Click here for Definite Article issue of the whole world. The causes of this issue are mainly the result of people’s indifference to the environment which they are inextricably linked withIssue No. 4: The word order needs to be changed in this sentence.. Increase in deforestation rateIssue No. 5: The indefinite article An needs to be used before the singular noun phrase increase in deforestation rate.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue, emissions from transportation and releaseIssue No. 6: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun release in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue of excessive amount of greenhouse gasesIssue No. 7: The indefinite article An needs to be used before the singular noun phrase excessive amount of greenhouse gases.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue into the atmosphere by the usage of fossil fuels are considered to be the main examples of this indifference. With regard to the effects, global warming can lead to some inevitable conditions such as the melting of polar ice caps, longer and more devastating wildfires and severe droughts if enough attention is not paid toIssue No. 8: The pronoun it needs to be added in order to make it clear what the writer intends to say in this sentence. . Despite being one of the most serious problems of current worldIssue No. 9: The word order needs to be changed in this sentence., it could be dealt with effectively if such solutions asIssue No. 10: The word order needs to be changed in this sentence. decreasing the level of deforestation, greening transportationIssue No. 11: The non-existent verb greening transportation needs to be replaced with the phrase making transportation greener. and switching to renewable energy sources are implemented.

One of the feasible ways to deal with global warming is lesseningIssue No. 12: The preposition by needs to be added in this sentence.
Issue No. 13: A more appropriate verb reducing should be used in this sentence. the rate of deforestation. This is due to the fact that deforestation currently constitutes about 18% of global greenhouse gas emissions, which is a major contributor to global warming (Harris and Feriz, 2011). Hence, the level at which trees are cutIssue No. 14: A more appropriate phrase removed from the earth should be used in this sentence. should be decreased, which could primarily be achieved by planting trees. To corroborate, new trees should be planted and new forests should be created for areas which were cleared out by deforestation, since they store some amount ofIssue No. 15: The phrase some amount of is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue CO2 in themselvesIssue No. 16: The phrase in themselves is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue and thereby prevent it from being released to the atmosphere. As a matter of fact, trees, planted forIssue No. 17: The preposition in needs to be used in this sentence. theIssue No. 18: The indefinite article an needs to be used before the singular noun area.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue area of 1 hectare, can store up to 900 tons of CO2, which is equal to the amount that is released by 147 cars dailyIssue No. 19: This does not seem to be accurate, i.e., there is no way that 147 cars release 900 tons of CO2 in a day. (Harris and Feriz, 2011) and as Intergovernmental Panel on Climate ChangeIssue No. 20: The definite article the needs to be used before the name of the organisation.
Click here for Definite Article issue (2000) concluded, up to 2 gigatones of CO2 can be sequestered annually by tree-planting. Moreover, recycling processIssue No. 21: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun phrase recycling process. can also be a way to reduce deforestation levelIssue No. 22: The word order needs to be changed in this sentence.
Issue No. 23: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun phrase level of deforestation.
Click here for Definite Article issue. Since trees are used for raw-materials such as timber, lumber and particularly paper, focusing on recycling them as well as using recycled ones can reduce the huge dependence for trees, which in turn leads to less cuts andIssue No. 24: The phrase less cuts is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue less deforestation. To clarify, as University of Colorado foundIssue No. 25: The non-integral citation should be used in this sentence.
Click here for In-text Citations issue out, each ton of recycled paper can save 17 trees from being cut or “one ton of recycled paper saves 3700 pounds of lumber”.Issue No. 26: The author’s last name rather that the name of the university needs to be put in parenthesis at the end of the sentence.
Click here for In-text Citations issue In addition, recyclingIssue No. 27: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun recycling in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue of approximately 80 million tons of materials inIssue No. 28: The preposition per needs to be used before the noun year in this sentence. aIssue No. 29: No indefinite article a should be used before the noun year in this sentence.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue year can prevent about 50 million metricsIssue No. 30: The noun tons needs to be added in this sentence.
Issue No. 31: The singular form of the noun metric should be used in this sentence. of carbon, which is equal to the amount emitted by nearly 40 million cars yearly, from being released to the atmosphere (University of Colorado, 2016).Issue No. 32: The claim needs to be expanded with counterarguments.
Click here for Evidence issue However, decreasing the level of deforestation might create some problems when it comes to people and to persuading them to plant trees and recycle. Nevertheless, it appears plausible for the government to take some actions and establish someIssue No. 33: The word some is redundant in this sentence. laws and regulations forIssue No. 34: The phrase that encourage should be used to make the claim more precise and clear. people to plant trees and recycle. Overall, despite some limitations, reducing the level of deforestation will probably have a positive impact on global warming.Issue No. 35: It is not entirely clear which limitations the writer is talking about here.

SecondlyIssue No. 36: The introductory word Secondly needs to be set off with a comma at the beginning of the sentence.
Click here for Comma issue and even more importantly thoughIssue No. 37: The inappropriate conjunction though should not be used here., implementation of greeningIssue No. 38: A more appropriate clause making transportation greener should be used in this sentence. transportation canIssue No. 39: A more appropriate modal verb may should be used in this sentence. be another way inIssue No. 40: The preposition of needs to be used in this sentence. dealing with global warming. It is an action whichIssue No. 41: A less wordy expression This should be used at the beginning of the sentence.
Click here for Wordiness issue focuses on the development of eco-friendly and sustainable means of transportation and thereby declineIssue No. 42: The indefinite article a needs to be used before the singular noun decline in this sentence.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue in the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from transportation. Since “transportation accounts for 15 per cent of the total greenhouse gas emissions globally”, there is an urgent need to implement this action quickly (Palsson and Johannson, 2016, p674Issue No. 43: The full stop should be used after the page number in parenthesis.
Click here for Comma issue). One of the most crucial steps to start the actionIssue No. 44: A more formal and appropriate for academic writing verb take should be used here. is raising the awarenessIssue No. 45: The sentence structure needs to be revised.
Issue No. 46: No definite article the should be using in the phrase raising the awareness.
Click here for Definite Article issue ofIssue No. 47: The preposition among needs to be used in this sentence. the public about the competitive advantages of sustainable means of transportation such asIssue No. 48: The comma needs to be used before such as to set off the exemplifying phrase in the middle of the sentence. bicycles and public transport as well asIssue No. 49: The comma needs to be used before as well as to set off the exemplifying phrase in the middle of the sentence. promoting those vehicles among people so that they can use them more often. For instance, as European Cyclists’ FederationIssue No. 50: The definite article the needs to be used before the name of the organisation.
Click here for Definite Article issue (2011) estimated, bicycleIssue No. 52: The indefinite article a needs to be used before the singular noun bicycle in this sentence.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue (21g CO2 per km) and public transport (101g CO2 per km) releases 10 times and twice as lessIssue No. 53: The structure of the sentence needs some revision.
Click here for Hedging issue amount of CO2 as private cars (271g CO2 per km) respectively and theyIssue No. 55: The sentence needs to be divided into two shorter sentences to avoid the problem of a run-on sentence.
Click here for Run-on Sentence issue together canIssue No. 56: A more appropriate modal verb could needs to be used in this sentence. save up to 100 million tons of CO2 together if they areIssue No. 57: The past tense of the verb to be needs to be used in the unreal conditional sentence. used instead of cars. If people are informed and educated about the positive effects of using eco-friendly transportation upon the environment and global warming by those kinds of facts, statistics and the usage of them are promoted by special advertisements or techniquesIssue No. 58: Some information given in this sentence seems to be redundant.
Click here for Redundancy issue, people may eventually prefer bicycles and public transport over private cars. Furthermore, increasing the production of fuel-efficient and electric cars canIssue No. 59: A more appropriate modal verb may needs to be used in this sentence. also assist in implementing greening transportationIssue No. 60: The word form greener is needed in this sentence.. Cars which are powered by biofuels or electricity are far more eco-friendly than ordinary, petrol-powered cars, in that they release considerably less amount ofIssue No. 61: The phrase amount of is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue CO2 (Velazquez et al., 2015). In fact, fuel-efficient and electric cars release 20% and 40% less amount of CO2 correspondinglyIssue No. 62: A more appropriate adverb respectively needs to be used in this sentence.
Issue No. 63: The adverb respectively needs to be set off with commas in the middle of the sentence.
Click here for Comma issue when compared to cars that run on petrol (Union of Concerned Scientists, 2012). However, it might be true that currently there is no enoughIssue No. 64: The expression not enough should be used here. opportunity for promotion of sustainable transportation and funding for production of environmentally-friendly cars.Issue No. 65: The claim needs to be backed up by some research based evidence and the in-text citation should be used.
Click here for Evidence issue Due to this, many people still are not awareIssue No. 66: The preposition of needs to be used in this sentence. why bicycles, public transport and fuel-efficient cars should be preferred by them. Nonetheless, it might be recommended forIssue No. 67: The word that needs to be used after the verb recommended in this sentence. governmentIssue No. 68: The plural form of the noun governments should be used because governments in general rather than one specific government is being referred to by the writer. toIssue No. 69: The use of to is no longer needed after the construction recommended that governments. initiate some actionsIssue No. 70: The singular form of the noun action should be used in this sentence. such as providing bicycles and public transport with specific bike and bus linesIssue No. 71: The spelling of the word needs to be changed from lines to lanes in the phrase bus lanes. to enhance the promotion of themIssue No. 72: The phrase to enhance the promotion of them is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue as well asIssue No. 73: The comma needs to be used before as well as in this sentence.
Click here for Comma issue increaseIssue No. 74: The verb form increasing needs to be used here in order to establish parallel sentence structure. the level of funding in producing fuel-efficient and electric cars. In essence, if there is someIssue No. 75: The use of some is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue action by government and greening transportation is implementedIssue No. 76: The non-existing verb form greening replaced with a more appropriate phrase made greener., the negative impacts of transportation on global warming will probably decline.

The third and the foremostIssue No. 77: A more appropriate adjective most viable should be used in this sentence. solution forIssue No. 78: The preposition to needs to be used after the noun solution. global warming is increasing the usage of renewable energy sources and decreasing the usage of fossil fuels. This is because of the fact that by far the largest – 26% of all greenhouse gas emissions is the share ofIssue No. 79: The expression due to should be used in this sentence. fossil fuels (Harris and Feriz, 2011). Therefore, the use of renewable energy sources should be accelerated, primarily by involving them more when generating electricity. Although solar and wind energy releases far less amount ofIssue No. 80: The phrase amount of is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue CO2 toIssue No. 81: The preposition into should be used in this sentence. the atmosphere while generating electricity compared toIssue No. 82: The interrupter phrase needs to be set off with a comma in the middle of the sentence.
Click here for Comma issue coal and natural gas, their share still accounts for only 22% of all generated electricity (International Energy Agency, 2015).Issue No. 83: The writer should have been more precise here stating explicitly whether he is talking about the whole world or one particular country. Increase in this shareIssue No. 84: The indefinite article An needs to be used before the noun phrase increase in this share.
Click here for Indefinite Article issue canIssue No. 85: A more appropriate modal verb may should be used in this sentence. assist to significantly decrease the amount of CO2 emissions in the process of generating electricity. This is because in order to generate 1 kilowatt-hour electricity, coal and natural gas emitsIssue No. 86: The plural form of the verb emit needs to be used in order to establish subject-verb agreement in the sentence. up to 3.6 and 2 pounds of carbon dioxide respectivelyIssue No. 87: The adverb respectively needs to be set off with commas in the middle of the sentence.
Click here for Comma issue, whereas corresponding figures for solar and wind energy are negligible 0.07 and 0.02Issue No. 88: The writer should have been more precise by adding either pounds or kgs after 0.007 and 0.02. (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, 2011). Moreover, applying solar panels and wind turbines for household usage can also boost the use of alternative energy sources. Most household equipmentsIssue No. 89: The singular form of the noun equipment should be used in this sentence. workIssue No. 90: The singular form of the verb works should be used in order to establish subject-verb agreement in the sentence. with electricity that can be generated by solar panels or wind turbines even at homeIssue No. 91: A comma needs to be used to set off the clause at the end of the sentence.
Click here for Comma issue. By installing themIssue No. 92: The introductory clause needs to be set off by a comma at the beginning of the sentence. according to their needs, more and more families will be able to satisfy their needs to electricityIssue No. 93: The word order needs to be changed in this sentence. nearly fully.Issue No. 94: The claim needs to be backed up by some research based evidence and the in-text citation should be used.
Click here for Evidence issue This, in turn, helps to increase the use of alternative energy sources by making opportunities for families to decrease their dependence on non-renewable energy sources. Once there is a gradual increase in the usage of renewable energy sources, it will probablyIssue No. 95: A more appropriate hedging expression likely should be used here.
Click here for Hedging issue have some positive outcomes relatedIssue No. 96: A more formal and appropriate for academic writing expression with regard to should be used here. to global warming. Realizing the advantages of alternative energy sources over fossil fuels, increasing number of people, families and countries startIssue No. 97: The present perfect tense have started should be used in this sentence. relying on them in the process of electricity generation. In fact, the share of renewable energy sources in generating electricity is expected to increase approximatelyIssue No. 98: The word order needs to be changed in this sentence. to 30% by 2020 (International Energy Agency, 2015). Most importantly, considerably less amount ofIssue No. 99: The phrase amount of is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue CO2 will be released,Issue No. 101: The plural form of the pronoun those should be used because it refers to the plural noun emissions. when there is an increase in the utilization of sustainable energy sources. If the distribution of alternative energy sources in energy supply goes up to around 45% by 2050, the amount of CO2 emissions will be 60% less than that of today (SimsIssue No. 102: All three authors’ names must appear in the in-text citation rather than only the first author’s name.
Click here for In-text Citations issue, 2003). On the whole, switching to alternative energy sources by decreasing the usage of fossil fuels will probably impact on global warming positively and have inevitably positive consequencesIssue No. 103: The phrase and have inevitably positive consequences is redundant in this sentence.
Click here for Redundancy issue.

Having considered all the things, admittedlyIssue No. 104: A more concise and appropriate signposting expression In summary needs to be used in this sentence., it will not be easy to combat global warming sinceIssue No. 105: The conjunction since needs to be replaced with and in this sentence because the fact that is difficulty to combat is not BECAUSE it is a serious problem. it is considered to be one of the most serious issues of the 21st century. There will also be some difficulties when implementing the solutionsIssue No. 107: The definite article the needs to be used before the noun solutions in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue
Issue No. 108: The preposition of is needed in this sentence. as they have their limitations. Nevertheless, if solutions: reducing the level of deforestation, implementing greening transportation and accelerating the usage of renewable energy sources, are all put in action together with theIssue No. 109: No definite article the should be used before the noun help in this sentence.
Click here for Definite Article issue help from government;Issue No. 110: The dash needs to be used instead of the semicolon in this sentence. individuals understand that it is happening, become aware of its causes and change their attitudes towards the environment, it will be plausible to think about overcoming the problem of global warming and avoiding its devastating consequences.Issue No. 111: It is not entirely clear why the writer has included this clause in the sentence. Finally, so as not to be lateIssue No. 112: The signposting expression should not be used in this final sentence of the essay., it is vital that possible solutions be put into action as soon as possible.

ReferencesIssue No. 113: On the whole, the writer has used the relevant and up-to-date sources in the essay and organised them alphabetically in accordance with the APA referencing conventions. However, several minor issues with referencing have been identified in this essay: 1. The writer of this essay should not have used et al. after the first author’s name, i.e., Velazquez, et al. (2015). Instead, they should have listed all authors of the paper.
2. There is lack of consistency in referencing conventions in this essay. For example, in some sources, only the first word in the title is capitalised, e.g., Sims, Rogner, and Gregory (2003). However, in some sources, all words in the article title, except conjunctions, grammatical articles and preposition, are capitalised, e.g., Harris, and Feriz (2011). 3. In some sources cited in the essay, the volume number of the journal is not italicised while it should be, e.g., Pallson, and Johannson (2016).
4. A hanging indentation needs to be used in each reference entry, i.e., every line after the first line should be moved a few spaces to the right.

Activities:

Question 1:
Identify the thesis statement, i.e., the sentence that expresses the main idea of the whole essay.

A: Global warming, which is defined as the process of temperature increase on the earth’s surface, due largely to increased amount of greenhouse gas emissions released to the atmosphere, is gradually becoming one of the most serious issues that requires the urgent attention of the whole world.Incorrect: This is not the thesis statement but a background statement which defines one of the key terms of the essay, global warming

B: Despite being one of the most serious problems the world currently faces, it could be dealt with effectively if solutions such as decreasing the level of deforestation, making transportation greener and switching to renewable energy sources are implemented.Correct: The thesis statement clearly outlines the three main points, which are as follows: 1. decreasing the level of deforestation; 2. making transportation greener; and 3. switching to renewable energy sources

C: One of the feasible ways to deal with global warming is by reducing the rate of deforestation.Incorrect: This is not the thesis statement, but the topic sentence of the second paragraph, which gives the main idea of only that particular paragraph

Question 2:
Identify the main purpose of the following sentence from the essay: One of the feasible ways to deal with global warming is by reducing the rate of deforestation.

A: To introduce one of the possible solutions to the problem of global warmingCorrect: The topic sentence is clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph: The first solution to the problem of poverty in Africa is lowering the level of corruption in local government.

B: To introduce the problem of global warming to the audienceIncorrect: The main purpose of this sentence is not to introduce the problem of global warming, but to propose one of the possible solutions to this problem.

C: To provide some evidence form the literature to back up the central claim of the essayIncorrect: This sentence does not introduce any evidence from the literature. Its main purpose is to briefly introduce the first of the three proposed solutions to the problem of global warming.

Question 3:
Identify the topic sentence, i.e., the sentence that expresses the main idea of the paragraph, of paragraph 3?

A: In essence, if there is action by government and transportation is made greener, the negative impacts of transportation on global warming will probably declineIncorrect: This is not the topic sentence, but the concluding sentence of the paragraph. This sentence located at the end of the paragraph to briefly summarises the main idea of the paragraph.

B: Secondly, and even more importantly, making transportation greener may be another way of dealing with global warmingCorrect: This is the topic sentence of the third paragraph of the essay. The main purpose of this sentence is to briefly introduce the second of the three proposed solutions to the problem of global warming. The topic sentence is usually located at the very beginning of the paragraph.

C: One of the most crucial steps to take is to start raising awareness among the public about the competitive advantages of sustainable means of transportation, such as bicycles and public transport, as well as promoting those vehicles among people so that they can use them more often. Incorrect: This is not the topic sentence, but the supporting evidence in the form of examples used to back up the main idea expressed in the topic sentence earlier in the paragraph.

Question 4:
Identify a problem with the in-text citatation by Sims (2003) used in the 4th paragraph of the essay.

A: This is not an academic source and should be avoided in academic essaysIncorrect: This is an academic source, i.e., a paper from the journal Energy Policy, which can be used as a reference for the essay.

B: This source does not introduce relevant supporting evidence to the essayIncorrect: This source provides some useful supporting information in the form of examples and statistics.

C: The name of only one of the three authors has been introduced in the citationCorrect: Only the first author, Sims is mentioned in text. All three authors including Rogner and Gregory, as given in the Reference List, must appear in text.